Troubled Waters

by Grace 30. May 2017 23:38

This is something that I sat down and wrote a few moments ago. I tried to incorporate a strong theme of water into it. I also tried a new little rhyme scheme other than the usual alternating rhyme for lines - ABABB.

 

Troubled Waters

When storm clouds roll across the sky

When thunder fills the air

Remember, Christ's your shelter

You can take your refuge there

God will always keep you in His care.

 

When troubles swirl about you

At a speed that feels insane

Remember, Christ is with you

And that He can ease your pain

Dance with joy and laughter in the rain.

 

Remember that these waters full

Of doubt and pain and fear...

They do not last forever--

For a short time they are here.

And after trials blessings will appear.

 

Now let's hear from you!

Did you like the poem? Did I do a good job of incorporating a strong theme of water? Any suggestions as to how I could change it to make it better? Did you enjoy the abnormal rhyme scheme? Do y'all know what a rhyme scheme is??? Let me know your thoughts!

 

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Comments (12) -

Scott Walker
Scott Walker
5/31/2017 9:33:16 PM #

What a wonderful uplifting poem. I think I will read that poem each morning of each day for awhile and see if it helps me face each day with happiness.

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Grace H.
Grace H.
5/31/2017 9:55:11 PM #

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Have any comments on it or do you think it's good?

Reply

Scott Walker
Scott Walker
6/1/2017 8:58:17 AM #

Hi, Yes it is a wonderful poem because it touches on so many things we all face in life. Some reasons I liked it and some notes.

* The Storms of Life we all face (but not alone - if you know and love Christ)

* Shelter in Christ

* Knowing that Christ loves us and looks after us - as he teaches us with challenging storms

* His Blessings  (because you learned something from the storm you just went through)

* Storms blow over after a short time - if there were no storms in life would we learn anything?

* Knowing that God is always with us is calming to the heart

We all face storms in our life. They are brought to us for a purpose to teach us. If life was perfect and there was no sadness, or no storms, then how would we know and appreciate happiness.  

I think the poem is one that we can all relate to. Often the storms we face are too big for us to face alone. The poem speaks of His love can caring for us, much like a father would care for his child. Think of Jesus looking after us is a calming feeling, knowing he is there at all times.

I read it again today, I like it because I had a tough day yesterday with one of my kids. Reading this message give me a new attitude to face today and have a better day than the day before.

Scott Walker

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Grace H.
Grace H.
6/1/2017 10:01:58 AM #

Thanks! I'm glad to hear that my poetry is blessing others! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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Olivia Bell
Olivia Bell
6/1/2017 6:16:24 PM #

Wow, this was amazing, Grace! Let me answer each of your questions: 1. Did I like it? I LOVED IT! 2. Did you incorporate water well? YES!! 3. Any suggestions to make it better? NO, it's epic the way it is! 4. Did I like the abnormal rhyming scheme? YES!! 5. Do I know what rhyming scheme is? No, what is it??

Hope I answered them all! Laughing

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Grace H.
Grace H.
6/1/2017 8:27:39 PM #

How can you like the abnormal rhyme scheme if you don't know what a rhyme scheme is??? XD I think I might write a full post about it sometime, but for now I'll give a brief explanation. (:
The first line in a poem is always 'A'. If the next line rhymes, it's also 'A'. If it doesn't, then it's 'B'. My rhyme scheme of ABABB means that lines one and 3 rhyme and lines two, four and five all rhyme. Make sense?

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Lizbeth E.
Lizbeth E.
6/1/2017 6:45:50 PM #

I really liked it!  I'm going to show my dad when he gets home ;)  Good job! 2 thumbs up!

Reply

Grace H.
Grace H.
6/1/2017 9:24:41 PM #

Aw, thanks Lizbeth! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I sort of threw it together in a few minutes, so I wasn't sure if it was any good or not. I'm loving everybody's feedback! If y'all have some criticism, don't hesitate to share that too. ;)

Reply

Scott Walker
Scott Walker
6/2/2017 4:44:20 PM #

Poets can do that, suddenly write something that comes to mind. A sudden inspiration, should be written down right-away, so you do not forget it as often poetry can come in fleeting thoughts.

My late brother was a poet and he always had his journal in hand, often writing in it. This was before the days of laptops etc.  

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Grace H.
Grace H.
6/2/2017 7:08:25 PM #

Yeah, I'm familiar with the frustration of not writing something down and then having it leave me. I try to always have something nearby just in case and if something does come to mind I just hurry to the nearest piece of paper and hope that no one talks to me and knocks it out until it's written down! XD

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Jacob T.
Jacob T.
6/8/2017 1:51:46 PM #

Great job! You should put a tune to it!

Reply

Grace H.
Grace H.
6/8/2017 8:47:39 PM #

Thanks Jake! I might! We'll see. Thank you for commenting!

Reply

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