He Understands

by Grace 13. June 2017 12:19

Hey everyone! Here's a song that I just recently finished writing. Let me know what you think! And, please, if you're willing, take a close look at it. Be critical. See if there's anything I should change. Does it stay on topic? Is it clear? Does it make sense? Does it flow? Especially if you've had any experience in analyzing literature. I want to make this as good as possible. Don't be afraid to offend me if you see things that need major changes. If you don't feel that whatever you have to say should go into a public comment, you can go to 'Contact' and get a hold of me through there.

Thanks!

 

 

He Understands

Verse 1: Things in this world

Do not always go right

Sometimes it seems

There’s no reason to fight

But cling to the Lord

Trust that He has a plan

Rely on His wisdom

And hold fast to His hand

 

Chorus: For God understands more than anyone can

And everything flows under His pure command

In your deepest despair He will always be there

Just trust that it’s in His plan

And that He understands

 

Verse 2: Our heavenly Father

Wants what’s best for us

He counts it as joy

His children to bless

But trials are part of

Our spiritual growth

The good times and bad times

Our Lord planned them both

 It’s still gonna hurt

And you’re still gonna cry

You’re still gonna wonder

And you’re gonna ask why

But I know He’ll give grace

Right through to the end

And will remain

Your truest friend

 

Bridge: When you walk through the Valley

Of the Shadow of death

When you face storms of life

Or the pangs of regret

When you're weary of life

And you can't see God's plan

Just rest in His grace;

For He understands

 

Now let's hear from you!

Did you enjoy this song? Any suggestions for change?

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Comments (12) -

Olivia Bell
Olivia Bell
6/13/2017 1:16:55 PM #

This was beautiful, Grace! Really, I loved it and really don't know of any changes I would make... I know that's not very helpful... sorry, but I really loved it!!! Laughing

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Grace H.
Grace H.
6/13/2017 1:23:38 PM #

Thanks Olivia! And that's okay! If you can't find any changes that I should make, then that's a good thing I would hope! XD Thanks again! Glad  you liked it!

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Scott Walker
Scott Walker
6/13/2017 10:53:58 PM #

Dear Grace, that is a lovely name I actually thought of a name for this poem "Our Father's Grace". As you know I have edited others literary works for the learning and the challenge which is fun. I have especially worked with poetry. This one passes my test - I say no edits, just something to consider.

Let's consider adding emphasis on his Fatherly Love. One for you to look at below. It will make it a little longer and I am not sure if it fits with the melody. It's a wonderful song here that you wrote. It really sums up how our God is really so much our Father.

You write "Trust that He has a plan"
Consider "Our Father in Heaven, we rest trusting in His plan"

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Scott Walker
Scott Walker
6/13/2017 11:12:30 PM #

Or you could shorten it a bit "Our Father in Heaven, I rest in trust of His Plan"

Here you write -
"Right through to the end"

Consider -

"Right through to the everlasting"

Reply

Grace H.
Grace H.
6/14/2017 9:26:53 AM #

Thank you for your criticism, Mr. Walker! It is very much appreciated. However, unfortunately, since this already has a tune, I can't lengthen the lines at all, so I will not be able to implement your changes. The idea of what you're trying to get across though will definitely help with my writing though! Thanks again!

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Scott Walker
Scott Walker
6/14/2017 11:34:29 AM #

Hi Grace, yes I wondering about how those longer lines would perhaps not go into the melody. There is one proposed edit I want to put emphasis on. You wrote "right through to the end".

The word end does not fit with our eternal Father and his gift of everlasting life in eternity with God there is no end.

Personally for those that love and believe in Him. The end of our life as mortals, is just the beginning of an eternity with our Father. Perhaps look at that one word "end" perhaps swap it for "eternity".  It sounds like end as it begins with an e, hopefully it may fit. You could delete the word "the" and replace the end with simply "eternity"?  Maybe it will work for you. Hope so.

Scott

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Grace H.
Grace H.
6/15/2017 7:09:46 PM #

Well, unfortunately, eternity still doesn't fit. It's still too long. Another thing is that in this song, 'end' refers not to God, but to the end of the trials we are facing.
However, I'm still glad you gave suggestions! I hope you realize how much I appreciate your criticism!
Thanks again!

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Scott Walker
Scott Walker
6/16/2017 8:14:32 AM #

Dear Grace, you correct - I was looking too far ahead which you covered so nicely in "I'm Moving Up to a Mansion Bright."  I think this song is of our world today and should be first. You are totally correct as you begin with "in this world..."  I stand corrected. No I have nothing critical to say, you know I would if I did, just ask your brother, he knows me and how can be critical at times, but not with these two. Five stars!

Both of these poems are great together one leads to the other, I just had them out of sequence in my mind... I think. No, seriously I really like them both.  I have nothing critical to say on either of them. Our story starts here.

Isn't poetry fun when you can write without rules of punctuation!

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Scott Walker
Scott Walker
6/16/2017 8:21:20 AM #

I forgot to mention - if you do record these two songs of poetry, please let us know. It is hard to imagine how they would sound from just reading them. It is a true gift if you can do both, write and compose these into songs.

Reply

Grace H.
Grace H.
6/16/2017 1:13:00 PM #

Thank you very much! And yes, you have my word that I will let you know if I ever record these songs!

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Grace F.
Grace F.
6/16/2017 12:08:50 PM #

Grace, that's beautiful!  I'm curious to see how the last two lines of the chorus "fit", if you know what I mean.  The chorus has an odd number of lines so it doesn't flow together as much when you read it.  I'm sure you have a tune in mind though when you read it, and I can only imagine how lovely it would sound put to music so we could hear!  You have a wonderful gift, Grace!

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Grace H.
Grace H.
6/16/2017 1:17:32 PM #

Thank you Grace! Yes, I know what you mean! I get the feeling. That's what I always wonder when I see a song with an odd number of lines. But yes, I have a tune in mind! It's nice being on my side of the perspective - knowing what it sounds like. But then again, it gives me the urge to let others know so that they can enjoy it also. So each side has its ups and downs.
Thanks again! It's not a gift that I obtained on my own. I'm very thankful to God that he gave me a gift into which I can pour my heart into and glorify Him and bless others!

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