When Life is...

by Grace 26. July 2017 18:24

Hey all! Sorry I've been gone so long. Life got a hold and wouldn't let go! I wrote this today on the whim. Let me know what you think!

 

When Life Is...

When life is a smog that I can't see through,
Help me to lean more heavily on you
When life is misty with tears from a loss
Help me to trust you, not count you as the cause
When life is hot and I'm full of pride
Help me to step down and let you decide
When life is cold with rigid fear
Help me remember you're always near

Help me remember you're the Author of Life
And that you're in control through joy and strife.

 

Now let's hear from you!

Did you enjoy this poem? Are you in any of these areas of life right now? Have any title suggestions? My title wasn't to good... Do you think I portrayed my theme of "Pointing Life back to God" well? Did you miss my presence in the blogosphere?Wink

P.S. Keep a lookout for the new page on the sidebar that's coming soon!! Smile

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Comments (8) -

Scott Walker
Scott Walker
7/27/2017 3:35:36 PM #

Amazing how you could write that just on the whim, it looks carefully thought out. Its meaning is clear and to the point. An artist has their moments when they create and this was on.

Only four stars because of just a small thing. I like the word "fog" instead of "smog". But smog does indicate filth in our life if that is what you wanted to say, I just thought fog went better with "misty eyed".  Consider Fog?  

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Grace H.
Grace H.
7/27/2017 3:57:43 PM #

Well, I actually did it that way because I was using parallelism. I considered fog, but it didn't really line up with what I was trying to do. Look at the third and fourth stanza. One is 'hot' and one is 'cold'. They're opposites. Same with 'smog' and 'misty'. Fog is really the same thing as mist. Smog is more of an opposite. Get my point?
Yeah... I can get pretty deep into my poetry... I love parallelism. Smile
Four stars? *Cries* No, not really, just kidding! Thanks for your input! Criticism is good.

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Olivia Bell
Olivia Bell
7/27/2017 5:01:04 PM #

I thought this was perfect in every way, including the title! And I thought you conveyed your message well too. I can't say I am in any of those stages of life right now, but this was definitely an encouragement for when I will be in those! Laughing
I definitely missed your presence in the blogging world! Laughing

Reply

Grace H.
Grace H.
7/27/2017 11:41:08 PM #

I'm glad you enjoyed it! And, concerning the title, when I talked to Dad about it, he said he liked it because no matter what you fill the blank at the end with, God is always the answer.
Thanks for commenting!

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Scott Walker
Scott Walker
7/27/2017 5:45:10 PM #

Hi, okay I got your meaning in using smog for a contrast. Works for me, our lives are surely filled with unwelcome filth at times. I like that statement as it is a realistic.

Okay 5 stars!

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Grace H.
Grace H.
7/28/2017 9:31:11 AM #

Yay! ;) Thanks!

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Scott Walker
Scott Walker
7/27/2017 11:02:20 PM #

I agree with Olivia the title is beautiful.

Reply

Grace H.
Grace H.
7/28/2017 9:32:54 AM #

Glad you like it! It bothered me at first, but after thinking about it for a little, I realized it wasn't to bad after all.

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